Just hours after she married her boyfriend (and father of her youngest child), 26-year-old bride Estrella Carrera was found stabbed to death in a bathtub in her wedding dress. Her husband, 30-year-old, Arnoldo Jiminez of Chicago, is wanted for murder.
ABC reports a manhunt is under way for the 6-foot, 220-pound Jiminez, who was
last known to be driving a 2006 black Maserati. Burbank police said they
have no record of employment for Jiminez, and have no idea how he got a
Family members have shared with police that there had been incidents of violence
during the couple's relationship but there's no police record of
domestic violence, according to the Associated Press.
While we don't know much with certainty yet, we do know that Jiminez is on the run. This tragic situation brings up other important InvestiDating issues, such as employment verification and aggression.
When you're dating someone, how do you know if they're really employed? Just because they put on a suit every morning and grab a brief case or disappear for 8-hours or come back with calloused-hands doesn't mean they're going to an courthouse, an office job, or trade work. You'll have to pay better attention than that.
Here are some work verification tips:
- Call your date's workplace after hours and dial by name, does s/he exist in the directory?
- When you dial by name, actually LISTEN to the person's message. Is the voice the same as the person whom you've been chatting with? There are a gazillion John Smith's in the world and then several others pretending to be John Smith.
- If you're dating someone exclusively, call one day when you're near their supposed work place and ask what she or he is up to, if s/he says it's a slow day say "great, I'm actually around the corner. Let's go for a quick lunch. My treat." See what happens. Sometimes someone can't get away but if every time your significant other can't get away, take note.
- Check LinkedIn for connections and verify that the connections make sense (does this person have only a few people connected to them? Why? No colleagues are linked? No company page? Or bigger flag: not even a company Web site?)
- Does the money match the man or woman? It's unlikely that a run of the mill hourly worker will own a multi-million dollar home unless he or she owns the company and chooses to work there too to be "one" with the workers. Don't get swept up in the romance of what you want to believe -- see the situation for what it is, before the reality smacks you in the face
- Check the lingo matches the gig -- A computer programmer who things java is only about coffee might not be a computer programmer. A pilot who's terrified of heights might not be a pilot.
- Verify applicable work databases, in New York start here:
What about when it comes to violence, how does one know if they're dealing with someone who who can be aggressive or violent? Here are some tips to help you decipher:
- If you feel you have to walk on eggshells with someone to prevent a temper tantrum, you might be with someone who is abusive. Click here to read more signs of domestic violence
- Download the love is not abuse digital dating abuse app that demonstrates the dangers of digital abuse and provides links to useful resources
- Check in with a psychologist online 24/7 (you'll have to pay for this so set an alarm on your phone or watch before you log on so you don't get caught up and lose track of time; you get charged by the minute) at LivePerson.com.
Check out the video on the "bathtub bride" below for more details on the case.