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Clues (blog)

Dating spreadsheet causes uproar

It seems everyone is in a huff over the finance guy who made an Excel spreadsheet of his Match.com dates and shared it with a prospective date.


If this is news to you. Here's what you need to know:
  • David Merkur is really good at making spreadsheets. If you need one made on Excel, you should probably hire him.
  • David Merkur dates (or at least used to date) on Match.com
  • David Merkur rates (or at least used to rate) his dates using his Excel spreadsheet
  • David Merkur went on a date with a woman named Arielle and put his foot in-his-mouth (mistake #1) when he told her about his nifty spreadsheet (it actually is a beautiful spreadsheet, take a look)
  • David Merkur emailed his spreadsheet to Arielle (mistake #2) who emailed it to her friends
  • David Merkur failed to remove personal identifiers of the women he dated from the spreadsheet (three strikes David Merkur)

David Merkur is not evil. In my opinion, David Merkur is organized. He's young. He has "send-itis." If you've taken my InvestiDate workshop you know I tell you to get historical not hysterical. David should've backed away from his computer.

What can we, as daters, learn here? Firstly, his spreadsheet is fantastic. It's organized, it's attractive, it's color-coded, it would be incredibly useful to an investigator if you went on a date and didn't come back. The photos, whereabouts, phone numbers, etc. are a goldmine of information. Kudos to David Merkur. That said, it's not something I would encourage you to ever share. It's a file that I would encourage you to keep safely stored in your Date-a-Base and if you've created your Date-a-Base in gmail then it's a private google document that only you and your two best buds with the password to your document may access, for worst case scenario purposes as explained in InvestiDate: How to Investigate Your Date.

Next -- how not to become a "victim" on said spreadsheet
You can't control your thumbnail photo ending up on someone's spreadsheet.

You can control your email and phone number ending up on a similar spreadsheet and being broadcast to the world.

Here's how:
  • only register and use your Date-a-Base email address for dating, which solves the email problem instantly.
  • Use GoogleVoice for phone and until you enter into an exclusive relationship with someone only use that GoolgeVoice phone number.
  • If you don't like that idea, visit Walmart.com or any other big box chain and get a $10-$30 pre-paid cell phone. I just ordered this tracfone bundle for a book launch party and will probably hand it out to a few suitors along the way.

So, before you go throwing David Merkur, whom I've never met by the way, under the bus, be honest -- you've never assigned a numerical value to someone? Not even in your head? You've never thought, wow, he's a 10? She's a solid  9.5? No? Never? Sorry, I don't believe you.